My whole life, I’ve had very few fears… my biggest fear was always disappointing my loved ones, closely followed by white spiders (I know, I know, odd fear heh). I’ve never been one to scare easy. Yet today I managed to freak myself out. It only lasted a few seconds, in which I about panicked, heh, but I got over it, and then felt very silly about it.
Today while playing solitaire with my youngest brother, Graydon, he mentioned his seventeenth birthday on February 25th. It made me think about my birthday, a month and three days after his; except, I’m turning twenty. It’s still seven months and a day away… but, I’m not gonna be a teenager anymore! *fear* *shock* Heh, I had never thought about it before… and its not going to change anything… except that I’m not going to be considered a kid anymore. But I was a child, and then I was a teenager… I was excited to become a teenager. Wow, twenty. It’s hard to believe, but its right there, and before I know it, it’ll be tomorrow. Twenty. I’ll be truly leaving adolescence… thought on the inside, I’ll always be a kid. It’s so strange to think about it… I don’t even know if I’m making any sense… do you know what I mean? Heh. Part of me wishes I could go back to being a kid, and start over, but then I could do something different and not become who I am now, and not ever have met Terra, and that would suck. I’m really happy with who I am… it’s just such a shock to have the big two – oh, being practically right around the corner yet down the road a ways… O_o? Did anything I just typed make any sense? I hope it did… but wouldn’t be surprised if it didn’t.
I’m not one to be scared of much… I don’t fear death, pain, or tomorrow, etc. I don’t fear aging… yet turning 20, seems really scary to me, even though I know it wont change me.
Has anyone ever felt like this? About any age? Did turning a certain age change anything about who you are? I’m just curious as usual. ^_^ Do you have any phobias in general?
<3 Forever, Intensely Me
I felt those exact same fears when I turned 18. because I was told THEN was when I was no longer a kid. That was when all the wishing I could go back started hitting me and the realising that everything that I thought was always so far away (and not going to happen BECAUSE it was so far away) was happening NOW. It is a scary feeling but you get used to it. Though I’m not entirely comfortable with it (and I don’t think I really ever will be) I have learned to accept it. Just think, once you’re 20, one more year before you can legally drink! Just kidding.
I remember when i was geting ready to turn sixteen it was a little odd, but not scary. Turning sixteen ment two years away from being a legal adult, which is what startled me the most, now im seventeen and im only a year away (not a year but im not counting the months to it haha) from being considered an adult.. pretty cool but freaky . . .