A year ago, when I thought about now, I expected to be someplace different. I dont know what I expected, but it wasnt this.
This isnt a bad thing. I recently graduated from high school (May ’07). I dont have a car, partially because I dont have a license, and also because I dont have any money; but that is my fault completely, for I do not have a job. But, I’m no complaining, not even attempting to complain. For the past three months, since I graduated I’ve been living in a dream world, that some magical thing was suddenly going to swoop in and I’d be living the adult life, I expected to be living, when I thought about now, a year ago.
I have legs, I can walk to work. There are a million places hiring, if I put in the effort to apply. I want to go to college; which I finally applied for, and finally sent my transcripts in for. Now, I am waiting for a letter of either acceptance or rejection. Preferably the first, but if not, oh well, there are a million other universities and colleges I can apply to.
I’ve had a lot of time alone lately, with just me and my thoughts. My brothers started school again a couple weeks ago, and my father works during the day. So I’m home alone. I’m the stay at home mom person minus the mom part. I clean all day, and cook every meal. Again, not complaining, because I chose to be here. I’m 19, there are an unlimited number of places I could be, but I chose here, with my father.
In this time that I’ve been lost in my thoughts, I finally know what I truly want out of my life (besides the career path).
I would love more than anything, to eventually live straight smack in the middle of the US. Well, near a lake, but as close to the middle of the US as possible and still live near a lake. I have family in Texas, New Mexico, Nebraska, Colorado, and Minnesota, primarily. So if I live in the very middle of the US, I can live in the middle of everyone. I would love a big family, lots of kids, a loving hubby, and a medium sized house in a nice neighborhood. The reason I chose this, is because I would love very much to have a full house all the time. Surrounded by friends and family all the time. Holidays everyone would gather at my house, for feasts and such. I’d cook huge meals (after all, I do love cooking) and there’d be lots of laughter and fun and joy. I cant say there wont be bad times, there always are, but you take those in stride.
I know I want lots of kids, but at the very least I want one boy and one girl. I already have their names picked out. LOL, and oddly they both start with J, I just noticed that… Jace and Jennesy.
Career wise, I want a very fast paced job, something that keeps me going, without burning me out on a daily basis… now, question is, what does that contend to? ^_^ No idea.
I have often wondered what other people want to do with their lives… so few people actually know, if you would refer to my Happily Ever After post, most people just go with the flow. The off chance that I have any readers, I’d be quite happy to hear what you want out of your life, your dreams, your ambitions, and what you’ve done with you life, however not like you expected it to be. ^_^
This is me, in all my glory. ^_^ As beautiful and as intensely me as I can be. *hugz*
<3 Forever, Intensely Me
You have a reader in me!! Of course, we’re talking right now over MSN so I’m sure we’ll talk about this there!
Not much i want out of like execpt to live it to the fullest and the best it can be.. wouldn’t mind haveing kids, and a wounderful wife, and live in the lower 49′s somewhere, dreams? sadly i dont really have dreams about how my life will turn out or how i would hope it would be.. just the thoughts of how i want it to be.. but of course nothing happens the way you want it to… i intened to graduate this year, no doubt about that… go to college would be nice but the tuition costs or so out rageouse, and out of my reach, plus i dont see my self geting any kind of scholarship.. And as far as what i’ve done with my life… nothing.. attened school is about it, none of the real world experance yet.